It has been said before that it is like we die a thousand deaths
on this journey. This is one of the truest things I’ve heard. It matters
not where you are on this path, because once you step foot on it
consciously or unconsciously, parts of you begin to die. We leave behind
all the bits and pieces of who we thought we were, the identities that
we took on or were put on us, the parts of us and the people that do not
resonate with whom we are becoming. These come off in layers, because
I’m not so sure we could handle the truth of our being all at once.
Sometimes the letting go is done forcefully as if the universe (you) is
conspiring against you and other times the layer is so deep that your
full participation is required. It has to be conscious letting go,
deliberate stepping into the new.
Now more than ever we are being asked to not only let go but to
really see the impact these ‘false selves’ have had on our lives. Where
these selves held fear, lack, and at the same time how they provided the
perfect canvas for us to experience exactly what we needed to for our
growth. We are being shown our dysfunction and how deep it goes for
none of this can stand in the higher light. It is the resistance to this
letting go that creates such suffering in our lives.
I knew I had tapped into a new layer of self that needed to go. I had
been working with it for a few days, feeling it out, understanding its
voice and role. A few days ago I was headed to the hot springs as I
needed the healing soak. I began again, tapping into this layer, really
feeling the resistance that was there and found underneath was fear.
This layer was afraid to go and was really wreaking havoc on my
emotional body. I was anxious, cranky, feeling insecure… just yuck. The
rhythm of the road and the radio blaring provided the perfect escape for
me to explore and really hear and feel what was being expressed. I was
grateful for the sharp mountain roads requiring my husband’s attention
because if he had looked over and seen tears running down my face, I
would have had to confess the existential crisis I was having. I then
began a sincere, active dialog within myself.
Me: I need you to go, this needing to play small, and making myself
small for another’s comfort, the fear of putting myself out there…. it
doesn’t serve me any longer
Layer: What if when I leave you die too? You have children and a husband.
Me: Then it was meant to be. Their highest good would be served too. I trust that.
Layer: What if you change so much that your husband won’t want to be with you?
Me: This gave me pause and then I heard my higher self say – he has
stood by you through every change and has loved seeing you, the you he
always knew come out of the shadows.
Layer: I’m afraid
Me: I know, but you will be fine. Thank you for all you taught me. I am stepping forward now.
With that, I literally felt something leave my body. It was a huge
shift and a release like nothing I have ever experienced. Then I felt
peace, beautiful blessed, peace. The next time I caught my husband’s
eye, I flashed him a smile. I was going to be alright, we were going to
be alright and I felt such joy and excitement for what new is showing up
in my life now that I released the old.
While that conversation was so clear, I began to remember more subtle
ones I have had through the years. What if I lost everyone on this
journey? What if they thought I was crazy? What if I am crazy? I
remember the fears stripping away layer by layer. Some layers had stayed
around causing me suffering for months before I was finally able to
TRUST and let go. The releasing is faster now because my trust is
greater and instead of fighting the release I express gratitude for its
role and consciously step into the new. Being clear on my inner dialog,
which we all have, has really helped. Slow down your thoughts, really
hear them and don’t hesitate to speak your truth to those thoughts. I
have found that there is a misguided belief within spirituality that to
speak your fears, to name them gives them power or manifests them. I
call BULL! I find that naming my fears helps me to really see them and
show them compassion. Isn’t that what all of us want when we are scared?
Compassion and understanding. Parts of us feel like they are dying and
that the world around us will crumble as we embody more and more of who
we truly are. The only way that this can be done gracefully is with
conscious intent and deep love.
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As we near an extremely powerful Equinox, you will find that the need
to let all within you that is old, go. This is also being mirrored in
the outer world with de-cluttering, job changes, moves, relationship
changes, and even deaths. Some of our animal companions are also
transitioning because their role is complete… they helped assist you by
showing you true unconditional love. Now it is time to show that love to
yourself.
Due to the vast changes that we all feel, even those not energy
sensitive, I’m noticing that outside fears are on the rise. Stop, be
still, and see if you are fearing something in front of you or far off.
Many are disconnecting from social networks and the media for these
reasons. The truth may be hard to discern but what isn’t is how your
body reacts when you focus on these things. Do you feel anxious, scared,
tired, and overwhelmed? Make no mistake, we feed things with our
energy; we can either feed love and joy or we can feed fear and duality.
The separation of the frequencies is becoming more distinct, this has
to happen so that we can easily see and feel the differences. The
Equinox marks the beginning of the time when the frequencies are not
only distinct but will begin to move away from each other. This is why
there is such a great push at this time for all of us to be very
conscious of our thoughts and emotions. We have to choose what we want
to continue in our lives. Choose and consciously overwrite the old
programming by stating your truth. Deeply imbedded programing will take
consistent effort, but it’s worth it. It’s time for us to own exactly
who we are with no apologies.
As we rewrite the programming, density leaves our form in sometimes
unpleasant and explosive ways. Headaches can be common as well. During
the process of grid removal, (more of an explanation here:
http://jennyschiltz.com/connecting-to-the-new-grid/),
feeling dizzy, nauseous and ungrounded is common. Also with the
timelines dissolving and shifting it can feel like we are losing our
minds. Things go missing and pop up someplace else. I have even been in a
car and saw someone getting ready to T-bone us and as I braced, the car
disappeared. All we can do is laugh and shake our heads.
With all of this activity, you may notice that your own intuition and
abilities are increasing. It’s quite exciting. We are entering a whole
new world of possibilities as we make the higher frequencies the
dominate one in our form. There is no veil on the New Earth, the only
veils that remain are within each of us and are determined by what we
can handle and what experiences we have chosen for our continued growth.
Now is a great time to journal so that you can look back and be amazed
at how much has changed and how much has shown itself to you.
I hope that each of you are finding some peace within the chaos. As a
healer I work with has said “May all things happen with ease and grace,
ease and grace.” Sending you all love and strength.
Jenny
http://jennyschiltz.com/journey-of-a-thousand-deaths-letting-go/
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**As with all information we receive regarding the ascension process,
discernment is necessary. If you read or hear something and it does not
resonate, simply let it go and find what makes your soul say YES! **
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