Q&A: Can I Help Him Overcome His Pain? | Enlightening Life - Jennifer Hoffman

Q&A: Can I Help Him Overcome His Pain? | Enlightening Life
September 7, 2014 By Jennifer Hoffman

Dear Jennifer:  My partner and I are very committed to our spiritual path and everything you share resonates with us and with our experiences. This week my partner became very upset and depressed, to the point of being suicidal. He doesn’t like his job, feels he has made some poor life choices, is struggling financially, and says that he can no longer continue like this. Although I am a shiatsu therapist and do aura healing, I don’t know how to help him overcome his pain. He doesn’t seem to want to move on and is stuck. I’m afraid of what he might do or that he won’t be able to move beyond this. How can I help and what can you suggest for him?

Jennifer’s Answer:  Your partner is dealing with both present and past life issues now and this is causing his energy to be so unbalanced that his fear is being amplified to the point where he cannot allow himself to have any peace or joy. With a strong focus on his incomplete past life issues,  he cannot move forward in the present. He knows that he can choose each step in a more powerful way but he is afraid and rather embarrassed at his current situation, which is why he is giving up on himself. To change this situation he has to get grounded in the present, and get complete with his past life issues, which means forgiving himself. There are ways that you can help him with this, if he allows you to. But it is up to him to decide to forgive himself and to find himself worthy enough to accept your help, support, and love.

This is where forgiveness is important because when we don’t apply forgiveness to our past life issues we simply carry energy over, like so much baggage, from lifetime to lifetime. Your partner has past life issues around worthiness and deserving, and regret over how he has used or misused his power in other lifetimes. That is why, in this lifetime, he tends to give his power away and puts others’ needs first, and it is also why he makes bad or powerless choices. He feels foolish and silly right now, and he also realizes that he has not allowed himself to use his energy and expand into joy and success but doesn’t feel worthy enough to do that. Unless he disconnects from this energy, though, he is going to stay ungrounded and unbalanced, which is what is causing his depression.

I have always believed that what we call ‘mental health issues’ is a manifestation of being between worlds, in the past and the present, and we are not grounded in either one. What we call depression is a symptom of blocked energy flow. Powerful energy downloads amplify our current energy focus. For him, all of the energy is amplifying his regrets and fears from the past and he is experiencing those in his life today. In order to balance his energy he is going to have to face the past, learn how to forgive himself, and release it, so he can allow himself to live in the present where he can be powerful, and not in the past, where he has no power.


One thing you can do is help him clear this energy from his aura, which will allow him to  find a new way to focus his energy. Then he won’t be so tempted to try to atone for what he believes are the wrong things he has done in other lifetimes. Being on a spiritual path opens our energy in so many ways and believing that we were wrong in the past, or could have been a better person then, is one of them. But that is self destructive and incorrect — we always make the best and only choices that we can in every situation. It is our willingness to do things differently now that can allow us to create a different life path for ourselves, one that does not repeat the past.


Another way you can help him is to not feel sorry for him, or to be afraid for him. He feels your fear too and it just amplifies what he is struggling with. Ask him if he wants help, let him know that clearing the energy from his aura will begin the healing he wants and needs, talk to him about the energy of forgiveness (it’s energetic, not emotional), and let him choose for himself. As much as you care for him, this is his choice and he is the only one who can take the next steps. You can send him healing energy, love, and light and be strong for him, as he cannot find the strength to be strong for himself. That’s really all you can do until he accepts and forgives himself, acknowledges the perfection of his own being, reconnects to his light and power, and decides that he no longer needs to be afraid or to judge himself so harshly for a past that he cannot change and choose to live without the pain that does not serve him in the present.

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Personal Reflections on Robin Williams and Why Life is Worth Living by David Wilcock\ Divine Cosmos

If you only read only one more article on Robin Williams..make it this one...A powerful reflection on David's earlier days working on a Suicide Prevention hotline....

Personal Reflections on Robin Williams and Why Life is Worth Living

by David Wilcock\ Divine Cosmos

August 13, 2014, 12:35 pm

Many people have written in saying our work stopped them from killing themselves. Though we cannot change what happened to Robin, we do have control over the choices we make in our own lives. Life is worth living and is a beautiful gift -- no matter how it may seem.

PERSONAL REFLECTIONS
Like many, if not most people, I was shocked and deeply saddened by the news of Robin's loss.
This is no ordinary tragedy. It strikes to the heart of everyone. Robin's presence lives on in so many wonderful creative works that have touched our lives.

He brought us happiness, laughter and deep insight. The pain and triumph he could convey as a character was utterly believable and in the moment.

You always felt, when seeing him in a film, that everything he was feeling was absolutely real. He threw himself into each role utterly and completely.

As far as film actors go, he was a true legend -- a star among stars. And he had managed to completely avoid the paparazzi hate machine tearing him down in public.

One central theme that keeps coming up is "Everbody loved him. How could a person loved by so many want to take his own life?"

Even now, two days after hearing about it, I still feel a variety of different emotions. I spent a good bit of time yesterday reading many different articles about him.


WORKING ON A SUICIDE HOTLINE
I worked as a staff trainee for the OASIS suicide crisis hotline through my entire senior year while getting a degree in psychology.

We were trained, through role-playing exercises, in how to handle a wide variety of worst-case-scenario situations -- every Wednesday night.

A whole team of 12 people were crammed into a single dormitory room in Deyo Hall, knee to knee, as we learned how to talk people out of killing themselves.


On one special occasion, a much larger crowd was gathered -- including people from other nights besides Wednesday.

It was very hot, crowded and claustrophobic. There wasn't really enough oxygen, making it also a light-headed zone between living and dying, waking and dreaming.

I was singled out to do a grueling, one-hour-long role-play with the director. It was the worst experience anyone had ever had that year, by orders of magnitude.

He chose to make an example out of me in front of everyone.
 

YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL
In this role-play, his character was a man who had the opportunity to save his severely disabled sister from a house fire, but let her burn to death.

He was savaged by his own guilt. He let her burn because he didn't want to take care of her anymore -- as it had been ruining his life.

We had a whole formula of what you were supposed to do in a role-play -- and we always followed it.
Every role-play ended in us running through the ten Suicide Assessment questions in some order, and then moving the caller in to Stage 3, where you make a referral to get them more help.

Every role-play ended in the would-be caller deciding not to commit suicide and accepting the referral. That was the script. That was what we did.

No one ever even imagined that there would be a role-play in which this formula wasn't satisfied.
It was always just a question of how long you would take to "get to stage 3" -- and how well you got there.

Normally a role play was about 10 to 15 minutes. A long role-play was 20 minutes. This one went on for an entire hour -- and it was absolutely horrible.

The fact that I was going through this in front of a huge group of people, without enough air, feeling utterly humiliated in the process, only made it worse.


I WILL NEVER FORGET IT
The director was rude, hostile, interrupted me, completely refused to listen to what I had to say, and just kept saying "I want to kill myself."

He made violent, psychopathic gestures of self-harming behavior and could not sit still as he ran through his plans.

His character felt that the only way justice could be served was to set himself on fire -- for letting his sister burn when he could have saved her.

I was trying to understand what the heck was going on as this role play stretched on -- longer and longer -- and I couldn't "turn" the person.

It was absolutely emotionally exhausting -- and an incredible ordeal.


NOTHING CHANGED HIS MIND
Finally, after what seemed like countless hours of torture in psychological time, he ended the role-play -- by saying he was going to hang up and burn himself to death.

"Nothing you have said to me has made me change my mind," he said. "I am leaving now and I am leaving for good. I am going to burn myself to death."

At least 30 people were in the room, witnessing the "example" that had been exacted upon me with such excruciating intensity.

They erupted into a cacophony of shocked chatter as soon as it was over. Everyone was moving, talking, gesticulating and freaking out.

Whatever precious quantity of oxygen was still left in the room by that point was quickly being consumed in a furious eruption.

What the hell just happened?

QUITE A SCENE
The volume level in the room skyrocketed. Everyone was talking, all at the same time. No one could understand what the heck had just happened.

The director -- already a big and tall guy as he was -- suddenly jumped up on a table, ducking his head to avoid hitting the ceiling.

He shot both of his arms out to the sides like an umpire making a bad call that everyone hated... and said,

"EVERYBODY SHUT THE F- UP!!!"
[90 percent of the students in my school were from New York -- so "dropping the f bomb" was a fairly common occurrence in private conversation.]

It was quite shocking for the director of our program to jump up, flag us all down, scream and curse at us -- with the F word, no less -- after this grueling ordeal.

Although watching the role-play in that environment couldn't have been enjoyable, being the subject of the whole ordeal was undoubtedly far worse.

I was completely wasted, emotionally and physically -- and now he was up there screaming.
Everyone did indeed "shut the f- up." What was he going to say?

YOU CAN'T SAVE EVERYBODY
"If you are going to do this work, you have to accept -- deep down in your soul -- that you can't save everybody," he said.

"Some people, you will give them your all, 110 percent, and at the end of that call they are still going to kill themselves."

"You absolutely have to live with that fact. You have to be able to get on with your life."

"If someone does this, it is their choice. You can try to help them, if they will even let you -- but ultimately it is not your decision."

"You can't spend the rest of your life grieving about it or wondering what you could have done differently."

"If you can't deal with losing someone after doing your very best, then you shouldn't be in this profession at all. Leave now. There's the door."

No one walked out.

I had been used as the scapegoat for a very powerful example that stuck with all of us for the rest of our lives.


LIFE IS WORTH LIVING
The tragedy of a loss like this is personal. Robin is woven into the very tapestry of modern life.

I haven't seen all of his films. You probably haven't either. But we've all seen enough to know and love this man.

No matter how dark the road may seem, no matter how difficult things may be, never give up.
Life is a precious gift. Life is worth living.
You are a beautiful and wonderful person. You are loved.
Never let anyone or anything challenge that deep knowing within you.

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