I
was thinking about forgiveness today and what a difficult subject it
can be to talk about, consider, and take action on. What we think we
have to forgive is usually something that is hard to let go of, people
can do terrible things to each other and there are things that we think
are unforgiveable, if we look at forgiveness as a pardon or absolution,
as if what they did was not important or didn’t matter to us.
Because it does matter, a lot.
The things we think we should or must forgive are those things whose memory stays with us for a long time. We remember the hurt that others do us and no matter how long ago it happened, the memory can evoke feelings that hurt as much today as they did when the situation happened.
But that’s not looking at forgiveness the ‘right’ way because aside from the emotions that we harbor around these situations there is another, more powerful way to look at forgiveness and that is from an energetic standpoint. You see, forgiveness is, first and foremost, all about energy. Sure there are a lot of emotions around it but the decision to forgive is a choice to release the emotions and the energetic hold they have on us.
Think about something someone did to you that really upset you — it was unkind or cruel, thoughtless, inconsiderate, deliberately hurtful, and it caused a lot of harm. How do you feel right now? Can you still remember every detail? That’s the emotional energy that this situation has and you’re probably feeling hurt, angry, embarrassed, and very emotional when you remember that person’s actions or that situation. For example, I remember the first time a boy broke my heart in a very public, humiliating way. I was 16 years old. I can’t remember his name or his face today, but I remember how hurt I felt and it happened over 40 years ago.
These emotions carry a lot of strong energy and because they usually involve difficult situations that we remember for a long time, they have a powerful, long-term impact on our lives. How many times have you said you would ‘never’ let someone hurt you again, or you would ‘never’ let someone get close to you because of something that happened to you?
What do you think is being impacted in your life by those beliefs and feelings?
A lot more than you think.
Forgiveness is not an absolution or pardon, it doesn’t make anything ‘OK’, nor does it decrease or remove the other person’s responsibility for their behavior.
What is does is let you get rid of your emotional baggage, the hurt and anger that limits your life, and lets you move on.
And there is a way to do forgiveness that prevents you from feeling that you’re letting someone ‘get away with’ bad behavior. Instead of saying ‘I forgive you’, say ‘I forgive us’. And there is an important reason for this.
In my book 30 Days to Everyday Miracles, I talk about being responsible for your reality. You create everything in your life and you are responsible for its presence. Why would you create painful situations? That has to do with your life lessons, healing purpose, and karma. In several decades of providing intuitive life guidance to clients, I have seen examples of just about every terrible thing that can be done to people by family, partners, acquaintances, and friends. And as terrible as those things were, they were part of the life path they chose for themselves. When they acknowledge their responsibility for their life path and take ownership of it, they have the power to change it.
If you don’t take responsibility for what is in your life, all of it, you cannot also take action to change it because the power you used to create this reality is the same power you are going to use to create a different reality.
By acknowledging your responsibility for everything in your life, you also acknowledge the power you have to choose a different life path.
Otherwise, you are blaming someone else for your life and everything in it, and giving your power to them.
Or, you’re waiting for them to, in a moment of love and inspiration, apologize for their behavior and tell you that they’re sorry. This is seeking redemption, not forgiveness and it can be a very disappointing strategy. You can read the difference between forgiveness and redemption in this article.
How do you forgive without feeling out of control? By saying that you forgive ‘us’ instead of ‘you’ when you do a forgiveness exercise. And by using ‘us’ instead of ‘you’, you remove the energetic connections that exist between you and that person and situation, keeping your power intact, taking responsibility, and you do not give your power away. You also give yourself closure, which is something only you can create in your life.
Here’s how it works: Imagine someone who has hurt you in some way, and it can be anyone in your life. You don’t have to tap into the emotions but you can if you feel it’s necessary. As you are seeing them in front of you, imagine a cord that goes from you to them, which holds the energy of the situation and all of the emotions around it. Now look at them in the eye and say ‘I forgive us’ with the intention to remove that connection, dissolve the connection cord, and release every aspect of the situation that exists between you.
You may need to do this several times with someone until you really feel the release but eventually, you will be able to think about that person or situation without also feeling angry and upset. And you will also be able to stop the spillover of those emotions into the rest of your life.
When I help clients work through this difficult issue and they express their sadness, anger, and frustration at how badly they were treated, I agree with them that it is a terrible thing to have experienced. But, then I ask them how long they want to continue to feel this way because until they are willing to release that energy, it will continue to eat away at them, robbing them of their joy and peace. Forgiveness is not an absolution, it is a disconnection and to make peace with forgiveness, we must look at it that way.
And if you need to, make it an entirely selfish process, something you do for yourself without considering anyone else’s needs. If you want to feel better, happier, more complete, whole, more fulfilled, and at peace, then forgive (or disconnect) from every person and situation that energetically stands in the way of your joy.
If you would like to do more thorough disconnection work, you can explore my Cord Disconnect Exercise which is available on the store at enlighteninglife.com, at this link
Try it and leave a comment on my facebook page and share your results.
I hope this article helps you forgive someone in a powerful, fulfilling way that helps you reap the benefits of forgiveness without feeling further victimized and powerless by a situation you may wish had never happened and had no control over, but can now release so it no longer has control in and over your life.
Tags | blog, Energy, Healing, Life Mastery, relationships, 2015, April 2015, power, powerful, being powerful, miracles, awareness, determination, fear | 0 comments
==========================================
If you like this article and would like to work with me because you are ready for profound personal and spiritual transformation, consider a personal intuitive consultation or intuitive coaching, where we work together to examine your life path, purpose, potential, and possibilities and help you choose one that will bring you the joy, abundance, love, peace and power that you are ready for. Click here to explore the possibilities for transformation.
Copyright (c) 2015 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.
Because it does matter, a lot.
The things we think we should or must forgive are those things whose memory stays with us for a long time. We remember the hurt that others do us and no matter how long ago it happened, the memory can evoke feelings that hurt as much today as they did when the situation happened.
But that’s not looking at forgiveness the ‘right’ way because aside from the emotions that we harbor around these situations there is another, more powerful way to look at forgiveness and that is from an energetic standpoint. You see, forgiveness is, first and foremost, all about energy. Sure there are a lot of emotions around it but the decision to forgive is a choice to release the emotions and the energetic hold they have on us.
Think about something someone did to you that really upset you — it was unkind or cruel, thoughtless, inconsiderate, deliberately hurtful, and it caused a lot of harm. How do you feel right now? Can you still remember every detail? That’s the emotional energy that this situation has and you’re probably feeling hurt, angry, embarrassed, and very emotional when you remember that person’s actions or that situation. For example, I remember the first time a boy broke my heart in a very public, humiliating way. I was 16 years old. I can’t remember his name or his face today, but I remember how hurt I felt and it happened over 40 years ago.
These emotions carry a lot of strong energy and because they usually involve difficult situations that we remember for a long time, they have a powerful, long-term impact on our lives. How many times have you said you would ‘never’ let someone hurt you again, or you would ‘never’ let someone get close to you because of something that happened to you?
What do you think is being impacted in your life by those beliefs and feelings?
A lot more than you think.
Forgiveness is not an absolution or pardon, it doesn’t make anything ‘OK’, nor does it decrease or remove the other person’s responsibility for their behavior.
What is does is let you get rid of your emotional baggage, the hurt and anger that limits your life, and lets you move on.
And there is a way to do forgiveness that prevents you from feeling that you’re letting someone ‘get away with’ bad behavior. Instead of saying ‘I forgive you’, say ‘I forgive us’. And there is an important reason for this.
In my book 30 Days to Everyday Miracles, I talk about being responsible for your reality. You create everything in your life and you are responsible for its presence. Why would you create painful situations? That has to do with your life lessons, healing purpose, and karma. In several decades of providing intuitive life guidance to clients, I have seen examples of just about every terrible thing that can be done to people by family, partners, acquaintances, and friends. And as terrible as those things were, they were part of the life path they chose for themselves. When they acknowledge their responsibility for their life path and take ownership of it, they have the power to change it.
If you don’t take responsibility for what is in your life, all of it, you cannot also take action to change it because the power you used to create this reality is the same power you are going to use to create a different reality.
By acknowledging your responsibility for everything in your life, you also acknowledge the power you have to choose a different life path.
Otherwise, you are blaming someone else for your life and everything in it, and giving your power to them.
Or, you’re waiting for them to, in a moment of love and inspiration, apologize for their behavior and tell you that they’re sorry. This is seeking redemption, not forgiveness and it can be a very disappointing strategy. You can read the difference between forgiveness and redemption in this article.
How do you forgive without feeling out of control? By saying that you forgive ‘us’ instead of ‘you’ when you do a forgiveness exercise. And by using ‘us’ instead of ‘you’, you remove the energetic connections that exist between you and that person and situation, keeping your power intact, taking responsibility, and you do not give your power away. You also give yourself closure, which is something only you can create in your life.
Here’s how it works: Imagine someone who has hurt you in some way, and it can be anyone in your life. You don’t have to tap into the emotions but you can if you feel it’s necessary. As you are seeing them in front of you, imagine a cord that goes from you to them, which holds the energy of the situation and all of the emotions around it. Now look at them in the eye and say ‘I forgive us’ with the intention to remove that connection, dissolve the connection cord, and release every aspect of the situation that exists between you.
You may need to do this several times with someone until you really feel the release but eventually, you will be able to think about that person or situation without also feeling angry and upset. And you will also be able to stop the spillover of those emotions into the rest of your life.
When I help clients work through this difficult issue and they express their sadness, anger, and frustration at how badly they were treated, I agree with them that it is a terrible thing to have experienced. But, then I ask them how long they want to continue to feel this way because until they are willing to release that energy, it will continue to eat away at them, robbing them of their joy and peace. Forgiveness is not an absolution, it is a disconnection and to make peace with forgiveness, we must look at it that way.
And if you need to, make it an entirely selfish process, something you do for yourself without considering anyone else’s needs. If you want to feel better, happier, more complete, whole, more fulfilled, and at peace, then forgive (or disconnect) from every person and situation that energetically stands in the way of your joy.
If you would like to do more thorough disconnection work, you can explore my Cord Disconnect Exercise which is available on the store at enlighteninglife.com, at this link
Try it and leave a comment on my facebook page and share your results.
I hope this article helps you forgive someone in a powerful, fulfilling way that helps you reap the benefits of forgiveness without feeling further victimized and powerless by a situation you may wish had never happened and had no control over, but can now release so it no longer has control in and over your life.
Tags | blog, Energy, Healing, Life Mastery, relationships, 2015, April 2015, power, powerful, being powerful, miracles, awareness, determination, fear | 0 comments
==========================================
If you like this article and would like to work with me because you are ready for profound personal and spiritual transformation, consider a personal intuitive consultation or intuitive coaching, where we work together to examine your life path, purpose, potential, and possibilities and help you choose one that will bring you the joy, abundance, love, peace and power that you are ready for. Click here to explore the possibilities for transformation.
Copyright (c) 2015 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.
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